My Broken Heart

I told myself that God had forgotten me...
After a lifetime of pain and nights filled with loneliness
He had no one for me to love
Just move on, it will be ok.
And then I met you.


I knew it was all wrong,
But I looked into your beautiful eyes... and I let you in...
Into my heart, into my family, into my home.
You gave me hope when I had none.
A second chance.
You took my hand and let me think about
A life with a man who would love me and my children...


Fantasy... or foolishness?


It is so rare to find someone to connect with,
Someone to open up your heart to
When it finally, if ever, comes along, it should be cherished and prized.
Love so sweet that the night is not long enough for all the kisses to be shared.
I always said that after a lifetime of looking
I would know him as soon as I met him.
I would know he was the one.
Hold on tight and don’t him let go.


But then,
You learned you were not free...
To love, to share, to plan, to care.
With each day you pulled farther away.
Your heart is now hard and filled with pain.
You shut me out, pushed me away.


WAIT! Come back! Please don’t leave me...
Hold me, kiss me, tell me it will be ok, what about the dreams we talked about?
The love we shared? The love still to be had and made?
Please don’t go... please.


This pain is just too much to bear. My heart aches for you.
I’m begging, pleading for just a small amount of your time.
To connect with you once more.
When did I become this way? Why did I become this way?
Surely being alone is less painful than the humiliation of
crying for a man who doesn’t want me.


Why God why? Haven’t I cried enough in my lifetime?
What transgression am I paying for?
How could you be so cruel?
I survived my dark night.

~

Today is a new day. Springtime.
The newness of the season.
New beginnings.
Just move on. It will be ok.


Perhaps someday he will see that maybe I was the one that God sent to him.
The woman for him to love, to cherish, to give him hope, to hold his hand.
The woman to give him a home with laughing children.
The woman who would never hurt him like the others before
Whose heart has known pain, and would never hurt this man she loves.


But life is all about choices.


Let him go... Let him go... and cry for what could have been.
Let him go... Let him go... and cry for what will never be.
The nights of passion, beautiful brown-eyed children, a life filled with love.
Let him go.
Let him go.
And be glad, not sad, for the short time we loved each other.


Let
him
go.

~by Barb Propester